It’s been a very long week! Seems like it was just an up and down week in every area of my life. I am a roll with the punches kind of girl because I typically have a plan B at all times…..right now I’m at plan Q and things are still changing lol Not fun but needed to get to the next chapter of my life I guess.

I really needed the off weekend of NASCAR last weekend. It takes up a lot of your time on the weekend if you are a big fan and follower. Just the races can be 10 hours or more a weekend for trucks, nationwide & cup. This weekend I’m looking forward to it being back Glad that Kasey Kahne & Kevin Harvick are both in the Nationwide race I’m a bit over the whole Carl/Brad thing. I hope that all moves on after this week. I used to be a decent fan of both….not just because of last weekend but I don’t know if I care for either after last season and the early part of this season.

Gina and I are going to take the dogs for a neighborhood walk. It has become our Saturday thing. Either Gina and I and all 3 dogs or just myself and my two dogs. It’s a nice day for it so I’m looking forward to it once she gets off work. I can handle all 3 but it isn’t nearly as enjoyable for me (or them I don’t think) when it is just 1 of us and 3 of them.

I know we’ve got some cooler weather and a bit more “winterish” weather to come but I’m so ready for spring to really be here to stay! One good thing about living in Alabama you truly do get all 4 seasons

Catching up on the Tivo this weekend in between cleaning & NASCAR & a little March Madness. I am really liking Parenthood. I love Lauren Graham, Peter Krause, Craig T. Nelson, Bonnie Bedelia and so many of the other actors and nowI’ve already fallen in love with the Braverman family! They aren’t these perfect little characters vs the villians, all are likeable and not-so-likeable at times. I like that there are so many characters that it’s a little hard to get bored even if you don’t care for one storyline because there are so many going at the same time. It’s kind of like Brothers & Sisters without the strong comedy punch, it’s more a drama than a drama-comedy like Brothers & Sisters. I can’t wait to see where they take this big family & extended family

I’m super broke this week so the New Moon DVD will have to wait. I had planned to go with Teagan to the Midnight release but all of that changed mid-day yesterday. I’m hearing from four different states that there was a little madness at the Midnight release…the good kind of madness I hate that I missed it but loved hearing all about it from most of y’all that went.

Mostly it’s missed opportunities to say things or do things that we just won’t have the chance to say or do again. It’s the little moments that we don’t think of until they’re gone. The simple dinners or phone calls or even the short trips or meeting half-way just to spend a few hours making memories. And all those times you wished you’d just had a picture of a special weekend or night out with the girls (or guys). I have boxes and memory cards/sticks full of great moments and I could probably fill up ten times that many with those that I’ve missed out on by not having a camera handy. Capturing memories…

The memories…some we will have forever and some will fade….and sometimes they are taken away from our minds with different circumstances but that doesn’t mean they didn’t happen and you can hold onto them even more by taking pictures. I’ve always, since I was in elementary school, loved to take pictures and I’m so thankful for that now. When are minds fade we have those pictures to look at and be reminded.

I’ve been so blessed over the years to have an amazing support system around me and to get to fulfill several dreams as well as some things that turned out to make my dreams and goals change (for the good!). Some roads took a few dozen extra turns and curves at high speeds but without those, I wouldn’t be who I am or where I’m at right now.

This weekend, I enjoyed a long walk with the dogs and my best friend through the same ol’ neighborhood I drive every single day Monday through Friday to get to and from work. I will cherish that walk because it was time spent away from my cell phone, computer, tv, Ipod and all just talking and being goofy mostly….and keeping dogs from being ran over of course (yes they were on leashes…crazy not stupid lol) That’s one opportunity that I’m glad I didn’t miss.

Supernatural, as it normally does, has made my IPod listening choice for me today…a little Bon Jovi

One of the highlights of FAN FAIR for me was seeing artists that I’d never heard of before entertain me and to find new music to love and new artists to support. The CMA MUSIC FESTIVAL has made that almost impossible. Their new exhibitors rules/requirements leaves out those artists. Leaves out the David Nail’s of two years ago. You know before anyone knew his name but he gained a ton of fans by having a booth at the CMA Music Festival. I can count 20 people off the top of my head that became fans that weekend. There will be no David Nail’s this year because the new rules state in order to be an artist you are required to have “achieved one of the following:

• At least one (1) career Top 40 single on Billboard, Country Aircheck or Music Row Single Chart
•  At least one (1) charted Top 40 album (digital or commercial) with sales of at least 150,000 units
•  Artist member of the Country Music Hall of Fame
• Confirmed to perform on one of the following CMA Music Festival Stages: LP Field, Daytime Stage at Riverfront or Chevy Stage on Arena PlazaAre you kidding me? REALLY?!?! Oh and of course the prerequisite of being a CMA member. Oh no this festival is anything BUT for the FANS.

I get that it’s the Music BUSINESS…trust me when I say I get it! I could write a book about how much I get it but… at this point Fan Fair has died to me and while it seems habit to call it Fan Fair…I think from this point further it would be a disgrace to Fan Fair to call the CMA Music Festval by that name.

So all of my friends that I said last year “We can enjoy it next year” and that I can’t wait to experience it with you…..I’ll experience and share with you any and all of the activities in town that are not CMA related. I won’t be paying or supporting anything to do with the actual festival so let’s start making plans for the real reason fans come to town that year….and hit the lower Broad bars and other amazing music establishments in Nashville to really enjoy what Fan Fair stood for……as it seems to be slipping away!

8 years ago at the beginning of February I was the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. 8 years ago by the end of February I was the  most heartbroken I have ever been in my entire life. Losing Brent…well there are parts of me I’ll never get back and parts of me I’m not sure will ever shine again. By knowing him and his love and our love however…there are parts of me that shine brighter, love deeper and are just a better person for it.

So yeah, for me I’m kind of glad to see February end. All the emotions and changes within the last year as well will make the next couple of months a little rocky. I’m reminded of all the changes and just horrible times of 2009. It wasn’t my year….it wasn’t a lot of people’s year.

I really want to find some kind of normal again. My kind of normal…which isn’t everyone’s normal…but is anyone else’s normal really able to be claimed by other’s as normal?

I love my job but I need about 2 more jobs lol to make up for all the things lost in 2009. I love my friends and I wish I had more time with them. I so miss our trips and special memories made. Hopefully 2011 will be full of more of those…once I get back on my feet and further away from 2009  

I think this weekend I’m going to go low tech for a bit and just concentrate on saying goodbye to another February….and all that it holds each year.

Love to all!

I’m ready for Spring now. I’m done with the teasing of the snow and ready for my allergies to go hay wire and lots of sunshine and colors. I think a few sneezes are worth the colors and the sunshine, don’t you?

I love my job. I love the people I work with and I love that I moved back home when I could have lived anywhere. With the way the economy has sucker punched so many of us, home is exactly where I needed to be but more importantly where I want to be. God led me down a different path than I thought I’d be on right now but I can’t complain. I’m still looking for contract jobs to fill in the void that some positions left but as for my core job, I’m very happy with the one I have.

A friend asked me recently if I was frustrated because I was over qualified for the job that I had. I didn’t have to think about it at all. I quickly answered him that I was frustrated when I was at job(s) that I never knew what was going on from one minute to the next and at jobs where I felt underpaid and underappreciated and at some jobs that I’ve been underpaid and over qualified for but not this job. This job helps me fulfill the love I have for people and feeling like I’m throwing some good back out into the world. It’s refreshing to feel like I have to mess up in order to lose this job and not that one day I’m told how great I am and the next that I’m no longer employed. Having my legs swept out from under me with no warning regardless of the job is not something I hope to ever have to go through again.

I realize in any job there is always that chance that the economy will hit it so hard that you’re never truly secure but the fact that after last year I feel even remotely secure is a true blessing to me.

Yes, I’d love to do more of what I was doing for Rodney and I would love to make the money I was making with Rich but both of those were contract jobs that I could do while working at FBC or just about any other ‘go into’ the office job. So for those of you out there still spreading my name around, I truly appreciate it and still need it but it’s not out of being unhappy. I think this is the first time in years and years I’ve only had one job an not 5 to 10 contract jobs along with it.

I’ve been trying to get back into reading (thanks to a friends suggestion “Jo”) and hoping that might sooth my mind so that I don’t have as many nightmares. Those things are about to drive me batty! Although the book series I’m reading right now is Vampire Diaries so….not sure Vamps are going to help my night terror situation but I do get some laughs out of it too. Parts of it needs a little English course (Yes me, the worst proper use of the English language writer in the world is saying that lol)

Of course the Tivo is always full and I’m happy that Psych is back for the second half of the season. I’m quite ready for The Bachelor to be over. I’m ready for a new Bachelor or Bachelorette to start. This one seems like old news to me or something. The winter is always a time for me to hibernate and watch TV when I’m home. And since I don’t have a traveling related job now, I do a lot to keep Tivo in business. And now with NASCAR season here…that adds about 12-15 more hours of Tivo time for the week…I fast forward through all of the practice/NASCAR live stuff though…if I didn’t I wouldn’t have survived Danica Daytona. I survived without being nauseous at the very site of her. I don’t dislike her just thought it was way more than overkill.

Speaking of NASCAR, I’m so very excited for Jamie McMurray. It has been a wonderful week following him and his celebration and media obligations on twitter (www.twitter.com/jamiemcmurray) He’s ‘tweeted’ a lot of photographs and updates that I’m sure all of his fans just love.

I hope you’re all having a great Wednesday. It’s about 6:00AM and I’m about to head out to work. I have to make up time at work for those little snow delay days earlier this week…… yee haw.

Nightmares…apparently taking you off meds for treatment of a brain tumor can mess with your mind as much or even more than putting you on. I’ve been having what my doctor refers to as ‘night terrors’….that is putting it mildly! This has got to stop, my dogs, me, anyone that comes near me from behind in an even remotely stealth like way is at risk of being screamed at and/or punched. That includes ’stealthily’ scaring myself in a mirror earlier this morning… fun times!

NASCAR….YAY! YAY! YAY! It’s back! Finally! I’m all geared up to do nothing but housework, play (and a little bit of work) on the computer and watch 15 Billion hours of NASCAR coverage this weekend! You may call me but expect me not to answer if the race is actually on lol Um…I mean races…Truck…Nationwide…Cup… All of the above are covered under the must be dying or need a ride from ME to get to the emergency room for something life threatening clause in our friendship packet And if these things happen you must call 3 times in a row and hang up or I won’t know that it’s important and just ignore your call. lol I’m kidding…okay I’m not kidding but oh well, it’s a small price to pay for NASCAR

I’m heading out to the movies with some of the girls from FBC today. We’re going to see Valentines Day! I’m anxious, it has a great cast so it hopefully will live up to that

Yes I realize I promised awhile back to get back to blogging but…well I’ll try harder, that’s my most honest answer lol

I think she was a mediocre driver from the other series. Did okay but not stellar. She’s great publicity for the sport of NASCAR but…. is she only great because she’s a woman. I would LOVE to have more women drivers, women crew chief but not for publicity sake….for talent and driver sake. Juan Pablo got a lot of press but not as much as Danica and he was a flippin’ winner winner chicken dinner kind of driver outside of NASCAR. I’m not saying she isn’t talented, I’m not saying she is….I don’t watch that much racing outside of NASCAR/stock car racing but just like everyone else (Dario/Juan Pablo/Max/Etc) it will soon be what she does in NASCAR that will tell NASCAR fans how talented she is….if they still care and aren’t sick of hearing about her by then to even try to care.

If they continue to over publicize her and make races with 40 or so other drivers in it only about her….people will start to dislike her and hold her up to a different standard. Dale Jr. knows how it feels to be expected to win every race and do well in everything or he’s a failure. I believe if this all continues the way it has that it will be another case of where people don’t take time to see if they want to support her or not because they feel she was shoved down their throats and that alone makes them want to dislike her. Especially here at the beginning of the season when everyone has been waiting to catch a glimpse, some news or anything on their favorite driver and if their favorite driver isn’t Dale Jr., Mark Martin, Jimmie Johnson or after the Shootout….Kevin Harvick then your almost out of luck. And when they can’t get news on their favorite driver but they get Danica all day and night….the dislike starts before ever giving her a chance.

So I wish her well. I hope she will end up being something good for the support besides a headline and I’m going to hold off my opinion on her until I actually see her race a few times….but then again if the Nationwide races turn out like the Arca race that was really the Danica race and missing shots of wrecks because they weren’t close enough to her…I may do what I did with that race and turn it off and decide to watch Tivo.

I suggest they find a sponsor that will aford NASCAR the ability to have Pitcommand and such for Nationwide so that us fans that would like to follow other drivers can…..then again I’ve had that suggestion for a few years now.

So there is my opinion that really doesn’t matter but whatever…..here it is lol

I’ve spent the day taking cool showers every two hours, taking naps, watching West Wing Season 2 on DVD, playing Facebook games and catching up on emails.

I’m tired of being home! I’m going stir crazy! Completely stir crazy. I want to be back at work, back at my desk doing my job that right now other people are having to cover. I’m grateful for that but I hate that they are having to do it at the beginning of the year and after some time off. Everything gets thrown off after some time off and the holidays. I want my life back lol It wasn’t anything uber exciting or glamorous but it is mine and I want it back. lol

Now I’m off to take yet another shower.

Yes, Jake is a good guy. Yes, he’s very attractive with his shirt off but in my opinion equally attractive with it on. The girls were what was expected, the token crazy girl, the token bad girl to be, and all the other tokens.

For now I’m on Team Tenley but who knows what is ahead for us and how much of what is real and not real. But for now, I’m on the team of the character Tenley. Just as on One Tree Hill I was Team Peyton when it was her vs Brooke for Lucas’ love and attention. Just as I am on Team Alice with the Twilight Saga….I prefer Jacob’s character to Edward but I don’t think Bella deserves either one so it’s hard to be on Team Jacob unless Team Jacob means he finds great and true love with anyone BUT Bella

So now that everyone knows why I’m just as proud to say I love The Bachelor as I am to be a Twilight fan (more of the books than the movies…well okay more than the Twilight…loved Eclipse the movie almost as much of the books).